Sleep

So I'm diabetic, I have been official for around 10 years and I probably have been for all of my life. And when my mental health begins to deteriorate I used to allow my blood sugars to elevate. It was a quick fix to calm my raging thoughts.

It no longer works and to make matters worse as I now start to reign my sugars in and my health improves it making my mental health worse. My nightmares have returned.
Most of them are old thoughts mixed with very weird vivid dreams of me blaming myself for my past, for things I had no control over. I know logically that this is only my subconscious trying to categorize the past few months into something useful and then to discard the rest, which may finally put the last few months of my torment to rest. But now I can't sleep unless I'm exhausted, either in body or in mind, so I don't dream. And my body still can't take exhausting amounts of work.
On good news though at least old thoughts are starting to fade and don't hurt as much. Silver lining I guess.

 

Nathan Damm